Theater Online - New York Theater Reviews

Drag Christmas shows featuring larger-than-life film divas such as Joan Crawford and Bette Davis have become as almost as traditional as eggnog, expensive gifts and mistletoe smooching. The long-running San Francisco revue Christmas with the Crawfords set a standard for such performances, and has run for a few years in Manhattan with Joey Arias as a steel-plated, horrifying Mommie Dearest. A Very Bette Christmas at Don't Tell Mama is a smaller venture than Christmas with the Crawfords. The act was written by Elizabeth Fuller, who parlayed a month-long visit from Davis into a memoir, Me and Jezebel. Fuller knows her Bette stuff; there are references to relatively obscure data, such as the possible murder of Miss D.'s second husband, Arthur Farnsworth.

A Very Bette Christmas only runs an hour, and, with a two- drink minimum, it's a fairly pleasant experience, for what it is. Daniel John Kelly is asked to play a Russian elf with Tourette Syndrome and he spends rather more time on stage than Bette herself. His role isn't remotely funny, but he works very hard at it. Fuller leans rather heavily on Davis' rivalry with Crawford, so that there are more Crawford jokes than Bette jokes (a fact that might have pleased Bette herself). However, it's hard to argue with the show's funniest gambit, where Bette (Tommy Femia) shows Crawford her Past, Present and Future, Christmas Carol-style (the best song is a version of "Joy to the World" called "Joan Screwed the World.")

The main event is Femia, the renowned impersonator of Judy Garland. It might seem something of a distance from Garland to Davis; at first, Femia unconsciously seems to fall into tremulous Garland physical movements. But he does manage to suggest Bette facially, though skimping somewhat on the famous eyes (I counted only one Bette-tragically-looking-towards-heaven move). But Femia excels in expressing Davis' rage, specifically in regards to her failing career. The gimmick of the show is that Davis is rehearsing a Christmas special, and Femia is especially acute when he vents Davis' contempt over having to do commercials (which Davis herself did have to do every now and again). Vocally, he's strong, with a Baby Jane screech for comic effects. Jon Jordan, who did the costume and hair design, has obviously seen Dead Ringer, Davis' follow-up to Baby Jane, and he perfectly replicates the awful wigs she was wearing and even her low bosom (one critic of the time quipped that her figure looked like a "gunnysack full of galoshes"). It's Femia's show, and he stays true to the steel of his subject.